The Last Party

Part 18 - Drifting Before Lunch.

2006-12-22T21:49:00.000+11:00

The bell rang for the period, and kids swarmed over the quad. By the time they got to our age, they’d be taking classes in double periods, but for now, they flitted from class to class, nothing mattering too much. Just keeping grades up to a standard that would keep their parents off their backs for the half hour that The Simpsons was on when they got home. Used to seeing seniors lounging about on the mythical free periods, we passed unnoticed, while I tried not to notice the cluster of cute girls in the year below us giggling their way from the English department to the front building.

Things didn’t seem so complicated then. Less scheming, for one thing. But there were a few upsides to focusing on Jase’s potential love life. I could forget about mine for one. or lack of one. and hanging out with Amanda was still an upside, even if it meant getting roped into things I didn’t want to do. I had my History Extension notes out, pretending to read something before I committed to any particular plan of hers. Just staring at the same page.

A page that seemed somewhat darker. Shadow. Someone there. Look up.

‘huh?’

‘You zoning out again Keegan?’

‘Oh hey Pete. You bail on economics?’

‘Williams scratched the lesson, we’re all up to date and no-one was active.’

‘I shoulda picked eco, maybe I’d’ve learned something.’

Amanda spoke up, ripping on me. ‘If you stayed in class you might learn something.’

‘If there’s something worth learning, I’d learn it.’

Pete broke the tension. ‘I’ve been talking to Amanda here for like two minutes, and you haven’t said a word.’

‘I was learning.’ I said, pointing to the page I’d been staring at.

‘Sure you were. So anyway, I was wondering if you guys were doing anything tomorrow night. I was hoping to get a big group of us up to Tuggerah tomorrow night, catch a movie.’

Amanda chimed in. ‘And I was saying it’d a perfect opportunity to put Jase and Erin next to each other in a dark room and see if anything happens.’

‘So why do you want to go to the movies Pete? Anything in particular you want to see?’

‘Not really, Hollow Man, Scary Movie, American Psycho maybe but that’s been out a while, a few people have probably seen it by now.’

‘Psycho? Are you kidding? No-one’s old enough.’ Amanda said, dismissing the thought with a gesture.

‘Hang on, I’m making some connections here.’

‘Take your time Keegan.’

Big crowd, scary movie… ‘You wanna ask someone out but you can’t do a date.’

His voice dripping with sarcasm, Pete said. ‘Yes, that’s exactly right. You’re a freaking genius Kegs. I just told Amanda that.’

‘But who? No wait, don’t tell me. I’ve already got in enough trouble asking those kind of questions today.’

‘If I get a crowd up, then I won’t have to get burned if she’s not interested.’

‘if you get a crowd up, you might want to make sure that you don’t get crowded out.’

Part 17 - I'm Not Afraid. Panicky, Though.

2006-12-15T17:27:00.000+11:00

Oh shit, did I really just think that? I mean, I used to like Amanda, didn’t everyone? I even asked her out one time, back in the day in a really awkward way. Letters are never a good idea, especially when your writing is illegible to practically anyone else. I’d gotten over that years ago. Hadn’t I? Maybe this is how I feel just being alone with a girl, any girl. Like back in year nine when I was flag boy, and got ten minutes off the end of every other day to spend with Helen, to take down the flags, and fold them, and occasionally our hands would brush, and my heart would race.

Amanda was talking, but I’d lost focus. I did that a lot, still do. Think on something so hard that the room disappears, and it’s just me and the problem. Zoned out. Somehow we’d managed to walk to the group’s hangout next to the library, and those chairs, and I was just staring over the quad. Trying to figure out whether I was still crushing on the girl next to me. The one with the boyfriend. A boyfriend she’d spend an hour pashing this morning. If I spent much more time thinking about her, and Anna, the other unattainable girl I saw every day, It’d just be a funk I didn’t need to settle on.

‘Keegan? Have you heard a word I’ve said?’

‘What were we talking about?’

‘getting Jase and Erin together, making them live happily ever after.’

‘I’m not sure they’re right for each other.’ I really wasn't. not that I knew her.

‘What are you on? Cos it sounds like it’s turning your brain into mush.’

‘I know what I’m saying.’

‘He likes her, I think she likes him, what’s so wrong about that?’

‘I don’t think he like likes her. I think he just spilled the first name in his head to get me to shut up.’

‘that was just confirming my suspicions. He does like her. They’d be happy together. What’s wrong with you? Are you jealous or something?’

This was more than I’d signed up for. ‘god, jealous? Of what?’

‘You don’t want Jase to have a girlfriend, do you?’

‘It’s not like he’d disappear all the time like you do, now you’re with nick.’

‘I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m meant to be in class, but no, I let you drag me out so we could talk about Jase.’

‘I can’t think.’ I was freezing up. I didn’t know why I didn’t want to meddle in Jase’s affairs of the heart, it just didn’t feel right.

‘Are you going to Nikki’s party on Friday?’

‘of course.’

‘Me and Jase are.’ I didn’t have to throw Amanda this idea, but I couldn’t handle the third degree anymore. I’d never been with a girl long enough to have a fight, and I didn’t have a clue what was happening. This wasn’t the normal banter between friends, the gentle mocking of the situation. I just wanted out. ‘Do you know if Erin’s going?’

‘Of course! That’d be perfect! You get him smashed and point him in her direction.’

‘so she’s going then?’

‘she will be.’ Suddenly I thought of Yoda, rubbing his hands together. ‘She will be.’

Part 16 - Keeping it Up

2006-12-14T14:39:00.000+11:00

I was getting tired of the Simpsons, and Amanda was getting that look on her face. Meddling would be fun, but did Jase really like Erin? And did I really want to hang around in this half-empty classroom watching a repeat for the zillionth time?

‘Amanda, do you wanna bail? We’re not learning anything.’

‘I dunno, I mean I thi-‘

‘Oi, Sir! Me and Amanda have gotta go do something with Mrs. Cummings for 3U history, have you got any notes today?’ Lying to a teacher isn’t that hard. Keeping your voice on an even level while someone’s furiously kicking your shins is a little tricker. Not that it mattered much. Berzo looked up from whatever he was marking and uttered a little ‘hmm? Oh sure, if you’ve somewhere else to be. You’ve both got this franchise law thing down, yes?’

as if I was wearing my silks and one of those little wigs, I stood up and straightened my shirt. ‘Sir, yes. Since first term sir.’ Any further questions for the plaintiff?

‘well carry on then. There’ll be some notes on Thursday, do show up. You’ll be expected to do some study over the break.’

‘certainly sir. Can we go now?’

‘Quiet, this bit’s good.’

Amanda gave me the biggest filthy as she put her book into the intricately decorated folder she carried around, flushing red with anger at me, and embarrassment at the situation I’d put her in. but really, there were far worse things to be caught doing than skipping out on such a waste of class time. As we walked out of class, and turned the corner, she started whispering furiously at me. ‘how dare you rope me into this? I mean fine if you want to risk detention that’s your own damn score, but I don’t need that kind of trouble! I mean did you even think for one second-‘

‘yes I did. Exactly one second.’

‘That I’d even want to skip class?’

‘you didn’t say no, did you? Look, in the extremely unlikely event that a teacher stops and asks us what we’re doing, we’re working on our three unit major projects.’ I used that line a lot more during the coming year. Not only was it good for skipping other classes, but it worked for days off down the city at the state library as well.

‘you don’t know that.’

‘most will think this is a legitimate free period. The few that might be suspicious will be thrown off by the project and Berzo’s tacit approval.’

‘and what about Mrs. Cummings? Or Mrs. Terry? Or Mrs. Payne.’ it might be some indication of what this unit was worth on a scholarly level that we had three teachers for five students.

‘you say their names as though you couldn’t bullshit on about the direction of your project for the hour before class. Besides, you weren’t so high and mighty when we sneaked past the deputy to skive off at Erina.’

She stopped, took a deep breath, then looked at me, the kind of angry look that concedes the point but in no way concedes the rightness of my argument.

‘I bet you’d be skipping class with a clean conscience if you weren’t going out with Nick.’

‘I would not.’

‘you wouldn’t go off at him if he dragged you out of a boring class like that.’

‘I would too.’ Silence on my part. ‘well, we’d be doing something. Not just slacking off.’

‘yeah I’d bet you’d be doing something.’ She flushed red again, then ‘not that. You wouldn’t get it, you’ve never gone out with someone for more than a month.’

My turn to flush. Time to change the topic.

‘So what kind of meddling you going to do to Jase? Do you think that they’d have a relationship, or what?’

‘well, you know him better than anyone, what does he want?’

‘I dunno.’ Thought for a second. ‘Didn’t even know who he liked, did I?’

‘fair enough. Don’t know why anyone’d want what you have anyway.’

‘Do you think I want it? Serial monogamy? It’s shit. I want a girl who looks like you do whenever anyone mentions Nick.’ Well, it was easier to say than I want you.

Part 15 - To Meddle, Or, Y'Know, Not.

2006-12-12T15:25:00.000+11:00

Well, great. Erin. Think Keegan.

The problem here is that honestly, I don’t know that many of the girls. Of course, everyone knows the hot chicks, that group of girls who would be the grade’s cheerleaders if they did that sort of thing at school. Then there’s the girls from class I know, and some classes let you get to know a few better than the others. But really, I couldn’t put a name to half the female faces in our grade.

Not knowing it had pissed off Jase, at any rate. He mumbled something about having to get back to class, although god knows why. It was Legal, with Berzo ‘teaching’. Odds were he was showing that episode of The Simpsons again, the one with the flimsy connection to business law. Marge buys a franchise, and then the Yakuza fight the Mafia on the front lawn at the end. It was exciting enough the first time he pulled out the tape and we got to watch The Simpsons in class, but now it just reeked of lazy education. Maybe Jase was actually learning something across the hall, but I didn’t really feel like watching that damn episode again.

Still, it’d give me a chance to figure out who Erin was, then return to Jase at lunch full of praise for his excellent choice of hot girlfriend material. And then start meddling.

‘So Manda, who’s Erin?’

‘god keegan, you really don’t know, do you? I thought you were just winding jase up.’

‘telling me off is not the same as telling me who she is.’

‘well, you know Stephanie, Peter Keegan, Jenny, that whole group in the middle yeah?’ she meant the uber-nerds. They threw the grading curve which the English department denied existed.

‘yeah. Tim and Jeff.’ Also in the group, but not quite uber-nerdy.

‘well, you know the shorter blonde chick that hangs around there? The one that joined that card game you all play in roll call? like any of you took your eyes offa her for a second. like a pack of hungry, undersexed dogs.’

‘Her? hmm. Jase did flip out a bit more than the rest of us. she's pretty cute.’ A little too innocent looking for me though. The kinda girl that’d want to wait. Like Anna, come to think of it. Damn. Maybe I do like the innocent looking ones. 'and I object to being called hungry. undersexed dog I may be, but I ate breakfast.'

‘well I think Jase has bio with her, same class as nikki, and she was having a go about them sitting up the back giggling away.

‘So you knew this, and you still let me spend that whole break just now trying to find out what chick he likes?’

‘just cos he sat up the back with her doesn’t mean he likes her. We had to get confirmation.’

‘Amanda, boys in science class cluster together, steal supplies and set things on fire. They don’t sit up the back and giggle.’

She was quiet for a moment. In the darkened room, Marge and Chief Wiggum jumped through the air as the Falafel King exploded thanks to Fat Tony’s henchmen.

‘I don’t think he really likes her. I think he was just getting the shits at us, and just said someone who he knew that you didn’t so you’d shut up.’ She got a little cuter when she was concentrating on a thought. It was slightly dark, and for a moment I could imagine being at the movies, and all the extra meaning that sitting next to someone brings to that situation.

‘well if not her, then who?’

‘mmm. Dunno. Doesn’t matter anyway. He said he likes her, she needs someone. I’ve got some matchmaking to do.’

Part 14 - The Situation

2006-12-11T22:25:00.000+11:00

Naturally enough, a free period combined with a long recess becomes a second, early lunch. the business leaders of the day had given us the exemplary idea of the extended business lunch. kids our age don't leave the lunch, not because we're pissed, but because we're apathetic. there's no wine, but we could still eat and make the pretence of some degree of study. Not that much was needed. It’s the last week of the term after all, and we have precious little to study for. Amanda was one of the few others that had signed up for three unit history, and our efforts had been directed towards the Kennedy myth, that whole Camelot thing.

‘You see Jase, the assassination needs to be put into context. It was such a shock to the nation, to the world, really, that the positive aspects of his presidency became the enduring story, because no one was willing to ‘hurt the memory’ of his life, as it were. It’s really quite interesting.’

What’s really interesting is how passionate Amanda’s getting about it. I’m struggling fill in my share of the conversation. I suck hard on the straw, and gather the last errant drops of sprite, chasing them between the remaining ice in the cup.

‘mmm. the problem being though, that he was actually a pretty good president all things considered. And he won against Nixon, who was a damn sight worse when he ended up in office. So criticisms of his presidency aren’t that strong to begin with, and then those criticisms have to compete with the enduring narrative of the last good president.’

Jase looked thoughtful for a moment. ‘And I should care about this why?’

‘well, everyone lives in a narrative, not just dead presidents. Reality is too difficult to comprehend without them. We structure our understanding of events through stories. Kennedy’s death, as shocking as it was, had a previous story to shape people’s understanding of it, the assassination of Lincoln. A good president, a great president, shot down in his prime.'

‘you still haven’t told me what this has to do with me.’

‘hmm. Well, you exist in a narrative now. You obviously like a girl, and you won’t tell us who she is. So you’re a tragic romantic, the boy with a crush who doesn’t act on it, and loses out to the confident, though unknown, other. No happy ending.’ Swish. forced debating has given me great skills.

‘But you can change the story, Jase. It’s not fixed yet. Tell us who you like, and we can help you get what you want, give you that happy ending.’ And Amanda brings the game home. one really doesn't have a chance against two dedicated players.

It is a hard thing to confess. Perhaps you do like a girl, perhaps you don’t. You can pretend you don’t, and when she inevitably picks a boy that actually talked to her, you can pretend it doesn’t hurt in the slightest. Admitting you like a girl to someone else means admitting it to yourself as well, and all the potential suffering that entails. Potential for great joy, sure. But for those who love quietly, and from afar, love is a great risk.

‘dammit. I’m not getting back to school until I tell you, am i?’

‘not a chance. Not that you want to go back, though’

‘true.’

‘but still, you should tell us. Not just cos we want to know, but cos we want to help.’

‘fine. It’s. well. Erin.’

‘who?’

‘god keegan, you spend half a fucking hour getting information out of me and you don’t have the slightest clue what it means.’

Part 13 - Ah, Crushes (Pause for Thought)

2006-06-10T20:50:00.000+10:00

I mentioned earlier that I once had a crush on Amanda, and it came back to me for a moment when we were planning the tortures used to extricate the truth from Jase. I’d even gone to the trouble of writing a note, further than I’d gone for a couple of others, like the delightful Rebecca.
(um, you might need some clarification, dear reader. With four girls with the name Rebecca at school, and my unwillingness to use last names for fear of legal retribution, you’re going to have to deal with Bec, Rebecca, Becca and Beccy. Thankfully, they never really hung out together, so you’re not going to get confused by such lines as: Bec said to Bec, ‘Bec, we have to talk about Bec.’)
Rebecca was unbelievably cute, unbelievably adorable, and unbelievably out of my league. I treasured the precious moments when she walked within ten meters of me, and almost had a heart attack when she asked to try my drink. Sometimes you know the effort would just not produce any result, so you leave well alone and enjoy having something nice to stare at while you’re zoned out in Chemistry. Threat Level Blue, on the fridge-magnet scale. Alert for any hint of returned feelings, but don’t push it buddy.
Then there was your everyday standard crush, where you are convinced you like the girl, she may like you back if you put a bit of effort in, and she’s within all acceptable social standards. Amanda fell into this range for me, a yellow. Some girls would be more of a green, closer to the likely No of a Blue, and hence note-passing was resured for yellow or greater. You’d hook up with a green at a dance party if the opportunity arose, and there was a greater chance of your dancing circle moving into hers.
Orange was a step up, someone who you may have even hung out with a couple of times, and you’d be working up the courage to ask her out on a proper date. Until this year at school, that’s kinda the situation I’d found myself in with girls outside of school, hanging out, dating for a bit, then not working out.
Dear god, Red. I love this girl so much I could die with a single ‘No’ from her lips. Already I fear I’ve drastically killed the situation with Anna that I can’t talk to her like I can with other girls lower on the threat scale, but I want her more than anything I’ve ever wanted. And these two know that, Jase and Amanda. My Confession was wrought out long ago, after The Camp, and The Note. Our concern in this moment was that His crush was a Red, or worse, he felt Red about a Blue. If that were the case, we could talk him down to a Blue before he did something stupid. Like I did.

Part 12 - Confess!

2006-06-09T14:21:00.000+10:00

Jase dropped his tray with a thud, a defensive action which shook his drink, and a bead of coke formed on that slight gap between the lid and the straw. He looked me and Amanda in the eye, in turn, and no-one spoke a word as both of us held his gaze. I slowly brought a chip to my mouth, and the crunch was overly loud in a momentary quiet of the crowd in the food court. If only they had tumbleweeds at Erina Fair. And someone to whistle that bit you hear in every western.

‘I’m not telling.’ Jase stated, attempting to cut us off at the pass, before we got started. Too late, the cattle were already stampeding, a storm of questions from me and Amanda:

‘Tell us what?’ ‘Who you like?’ ‘How much you like her?’ ‘Does she like you back?’ ‘Have you asked her out yet?’ ‘did she say no?’ ‘did she say yes?’ ‘she said no, that’s why you won’t tell us who she is?’ ‘how long have you liked her?’ ‘Is she single?’ ‘If you’re not going to make a crack at her, would you care if I did?’ ‘Keegan!’ ‘Sorry, I meant could Amanda have a crack at her as well?’ ‘Excuse me?’ ‘Fine, can Amanda have first crack?’, at which point she hit me on the arm, knuckle right on the bone. And there we both were, pointedly looking at Jase for a confession.

‘See this?’ he said, waving an arm in front of us. ‘Brick Wall. Deal with it. Your food’s getting cold.’
‘It’s a salad dear, it’s already cold.’ Amanda countered.

Hmm. Time for phase two of ‘Get Jase To Tell Us Who He Likes.’
‘Keegan?’ Amanda motioned for me to lean closer, and then she whispered in my ear, ‘He usually cracks after that, what do we do now?’ I’m trying to think of something, but all I can think of is her breath on my neck, the smell of her hair.
‘Hows about we whisper for a little longer to rattle his nerves?’ I ask, trying to stop my voice from shaking.
‘Do you think that’ll work?’ she asks, but what do I care? Just stay this close for a little longer.
‘There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?’
‘we might actually spend this time to think of something.’
‘aaah, good point. Hmm. Just a sec.’ Just another moment with her cheek a bare inch from mine. That bloody vanilla spray that Anna wears as well. Gotta pull out now, and make do with a plan that just dropped out of thin air.

‘If you don’t tell us, we’ll have to invent a rumour.’

‘Oh no you don’t.’ said Jase, looking worried now. Cracks appearing in that brick wall.

‘Everyone will think you like the girl we say you like, and the girl you like will think you don’t like her, but the girl you don’t really like.’
‘Huh?’
‘It’s a bad scenario, Jase.’
‘I’ll deny everything.’
‘That’ll only prove it, You know how gossip works in this town.’
‘School.’
‘Whatever.’
Amanda perks up, now she knows where I’m going. ‘So really, your only course of action is to confess.’
‘Really?’
‘Yup.’ He’s cornered now.
‘Damn.’

Part 11 - But I Digress...

2006-05-31T10:58:00.000+10:00

There's been a delay in creating a new part, but it's worth waiting for, and in compensation I offer the reader this long-winded and probably unnecessary digression. The next part was to be a guest written piece by Jase, a snapshot of his thoughts as Amanda and I prepare to extricate his deepest secrets through tortuous mind-games. But I neglected to take into account Jase's notoriety when it comes to lateness. Just as he was late picking me up on this particular morning, just as on most mornings, Jase was always late handing in assignments. Not just ordinary run of the mill 'I'm sorry miss, I had it written in my diary as due tomorrow, see, right there, it's at home, I could go now and get it but I'm not sure I'd make it back to school before you left, wouldn't it be easier if I just handed it in tomorrow?' kind of late that most kids attempted. Myself, I was more of a 'skip every class before the one it's due in and write it on the day' kind of guy, something which had absolutely pissed off Amanda the other week when I pulled this awesome speech in modern history out of thin air, and came first in both classes, five marks ahead of her speech that she'd spent weeks preparing. Still stoked about that one.

Jase held a couple of records in the grade – longest overdue without penalty (legal studies), largest penalty for lateness without failing (English extension 2), and most passes with assignments missing (Health, yr10, Food Tech yr8, and Chemistry three years straight, 8-10). Hence, I should have expected no less than a week's delay in getting his assignment. Really, it boggled the mind how he didn't fail, week after week seemingly on the brink, and always tottering back safely. When I mentioned earlier that this was the final week of year 11, and we had no assignments due, nothing to do, well, assume that Jase still owed a couple of assignments to pass a subject or two. Really, if we were good friends, we would've actually gone to the library and stood behind him with whips till he finished them. But, y'know, that'd involve way too much effort.

Plus, the whole competition thing. Ranking kids in every class, that starts to get you down at a high-performance school. Everyone knew that most of us would be top of the line at any other school, but here that'd just get you somewhere in the middle. There were a couple of clear front-runners, 99.95 just waiting for them at the end of year twelve, superior degrees, high-paying jobs and boring lives in cubicles. They'd barely comprehend the fun of mediocrity. So we'd slouch off on our free periods instead of studying. We didn't aim high because we didn't like what we saw there. We didn't aim low either, because that'd be just as bad. Kind of serving our time, doing what had to be done, no more, no less. Jase was just better at knowing exactly how much he needed to do to keep running.

Part 10 - Double Effort

2006-05-16T19:55:00.000+10:00

Jase turned around in his seat, his arm behind Amanda's seat as he backed out of the parking spot, and while Amanda might've been a bit unsettled by the speed, seeing as how the gravel was flying into a growing cloud of dust, I was just thankful he was looking at all. He hauled the wheel about, and said, 'Dude, when you get a car, get power steering.'

Then he floored it.

Two years later, on a dry night with a full moon, after 2am, no cars in sight, it took me four minutes longer on the same route than this run with Amanda in the car. He hauled that machine through to the back of Gosford, stereo blaring the heavy techno of an early Skitzmix, while Amanda turned around and asked,
'Is it always like this?', while she looked out the back window, looking for cops, or worse, an A Current Affair news van running a piece on 'Reckless Youths, Hooning About Your Town During School Hours. Tonight At 6.30.'
'I think he's toning it down a bit cos you're in the car. We'd probably be there already, right Jase?'
'Yeah, that bloody Volvo back there,' (the one that pulled over to catch his breath back) 'what was his deal?' he replied.
'Probably going to write to the Advocate, complaining about the youth of today,' I said.
'What's the rush anyway?' asked Amanda.
Jase ignored her. 'Youth of today, it's the Old of today that are the problem. Clogging up our roads with Volvos, filling the coast with retirement villages instead of things for kids to do.'
'Hey dude, what Amanda said, what's at Erina?'
'Just shut up dude, we're almost there.' He revved a bit harder, racing up the last straight before we reached the mall. It barely deserved the title, Mall, in it's current incarnation, but it was the closest thing to one on the Coast, and it was a bit more than a shopping complex like Deep Water Plaza in Woy Woy. That two bit hole was so small you couldn't get your ankles wet before reaching the deep end.

Well, we were intrigued at any rate. Something was worth driving out here for, beyond showing off his driving skills to Amanda. Jase cruised into the parking lot, and parked between the cinema and the food court, and as we got out, he started walking towards the cinema.
'Hey dude, burgers this way.' I called out.
'It'll just take a minute,' he replied as he kept walking. I turned to Amanda, and muttered, 'Do you have any idea what this is about?'
'Not a clue,' she said.
'You guys coming?' he yelled, and we started trudging towards the multiplex. Really, there wasn't much else for kids to do on the coast, beyond cruising about and going to the movies, especially when the weather wasn't warm enough for the beach. They'd had a couple of blue light discos at the abandoned roller rink in Gosford, but they kinda stopped after a drug bust yielded over 100 Ecstasy tablets scattered on the floor when the police showed up.
'We don't have time for a movie Jason, we have to be back for Legal.' said Amanda.
'I'm not here to see a movie,' he said as he kept walking to the side of the ticket booth, flicking over the papers there, and suddenly,
'Alright, they are holding a movie marathon. Sunday night.'
'Enjoy dude, we're both working.' I said.
'Yeah, public holiday pay. Can't give that up.' said Amanda. When your hourly rate is still in single digits, the chance to be paid like an adult is something you don't pass up.
'I wasn't going to ask you guys.'
'Well, who then?'
He started blushing, and walked past us, back towards the food court.
'Ooh, Jas-ey's got-a girl-friend,' I said in that singsong voice.
'Shut up man, you know I don't.'
'But you want one,' said Amanda. 'And you're gonna ask her to a movie marathon?'
'He never said it was a her,' I said, as Jase hit me on the arm, then, 'Ow! Well, we've narrowed it down to women then. Okay then, does she go to our school?' I asked, and he replied,
'Stop with the questions, just go get your food, I thought you were hungry!'
Amanda chimed in, 'So she does go to our school!'
'I never said that!'
'Well, It has to be someone in our year, he doesn't know anyone in the year below. Not any girls anyway, just those dudes who play soccer.' I said.
'Stop talking about me!'
'And you can rule me out, cos I've already got a boyfriend,' said Amanda, in that faintly proud way she had
'God, yes, we know. We see him every day.' I replied.
'Back to it, who would he like?' She said.
Jase folded his arms. 'I'm not saying anything.'
'Sure you are.'
'You will confess.'
'Hey, you know he was right after all.' I said
'What's that?'
'There is something interesting here, after all. I'm gonna get some food, we'll sit back here, yeah?'

We'd have it out of him before we got back to school, there wasn't anyway to stop two of us against the other. Amanda on her own could be countered by a brick wall from both me and Jase, but with one of us helping her, there was no such thing as a secret. Just gossip waiting to happen.

Part 9 - Get In, Shut Up.

2006-05-07T15:19:00.000+10:00

i'You little tramp.' I said to Amanda as we walked away from Snowdon.
'Excuse me?' she replied, indignant at the accusation.
'Oh Mr. Snowdon,' I mimicked in a falsetto, 'you wouldn't put a cute girl like me in detention, would you?' batting my lashes for further effect.
'As if I said anything like that! I was just being nice, something which you seem to have forgotten how to do.'
'Dude, she was so putting it on, wasn't she? Dude?' I asked Jase, as we walked towards the student car park. And by car park I mean street. And by street I mean gravel ditch by the train tracks, overgrown by evil weeds. The kind that grow on public property. Not the good kind of evil weeds, that the cool kids cut up finely, wrapped in homework, and smoked during lunch breaks.
'Sorry what? I was just thinking...' said Jase.
'Does it hurt?' I pulled out the old line
'Fuck you. I was thinking we should go to Erina instead, there's something I want to check out.'
'What is it Jase?' said Amanda.
'I'm not going to say just yet, just in case.'
‘Ooh, this sounds interesting. Dude, spill.' I demanded.
'No, you'll see if it's there, if not then you'll still be able to buy food.'
'Hey yeah, I can get Maccas while Amanda gets Subway.' It'd be worth the delay, after all.
'God Keegan,’ said Amanda, ‘You've been working there a year now, yeah? aren't you sick of it yet? it took me like a month and I stopped eating it.' It was probably because Amanda, Nick and Brendan were already working there that I scored a job.
'No way, It's even better now because it's cheaper. 20% now isn't as good as the free stuff after close though.' It must've been only the price, because I became a vegetarian for two years after I quit.
'Eww, gross.' she sqealed as she made a face
We reached Jase's car, and it had probably been a while since Amanda had been in there, what with her boyfriend Nick driving her in every day. She kinda just stood in shock for a minute.
'Dude, you get in the back.' Jase said, while Amanda surveyed the mountains of crap in his car. Her big brown eyes were wide open, her mouth just opening and closing while she thought of something to say.
‘yeah, you haven’t been in here for a while, have you?’ Jase asked her.
‘Have you ever cleaned this thing out?’ she asked.
One might expect a teenager’s car to have some junk in the trunk, especially a bloke’s car. The interior of Jase’s car though, was something else altogether. Beyond the usual fast-food wrappings, half empty bottles, soccer gear (and the chunks of dried mud scraped off said gear), Jase had taken some casual work delivering pamphlets and the local paper, which produced leftovers that never left the car. There were things growing in the boot that were well on their way to discovering fire.
‘What are you talking about?’ asked Jase. ‘I had her polished last week!’
‘Just get in, Amanda,’ I said, as I shoveled piles of junk off a seat in the back, ‘ at least you’re in the front.’
‘well, okay. But you’re going to drive careful, aren’t you?’ she asked.

Me and Jase just looked at each other.

Part 8 - Oooh, Mandy

2006-04-30T19:35:00.000+10:00

Since Year Seven, there’d been a core of us who’d caught the train to school from Woy Woy, and for the first year or so, the guys sat with the guys, and the girls with the girls. Then the girls sorta thinned out – some moved, one changed schools, and another attempted suicide (the attention seeking kind, not the real kind), and Amanda started riding with us. By that time too, we’d slowed down on the wild stunts, like fruit fights, paper aeroplanes, and unscrewing seats and throwing them out the doors. And with her being the only girl who we had close contact with on a daily basis, pretty much every guy developed a crush on her, to varying degrees. Yes, me too, but it was a passing thing. I had more pressing concerns at Venturers (scouts aged 15-18), where I knew Anna outside of school, to pursue Amanda more than half-heartedly. Plus her going out with Nick for going on six months kinda settled the question.

For me at least. Jase, I wasn’t so sure about. He’d mentioned something at the Camp back before she hooked up with Nick at the Party the week after. He’d probably been afflicted worst of all of us, and then this chance had come along, and then disappeared. It was all cool now though. I think. But this free period had developed into a good time to hang out with a chick, and get her perspective on things.

‘So, how’re we gonna spend the next,’ Jase looked at his watch, a shiny silver surf-brand timepiece, ‘ 84 Minutes?’
‘Dude, I’m hungry. Let’s go for a drive.’ I whined.
‘Not Maccas Jase, I’m sick of it. Let’s go get something else,’ she said.
‘Uh, how’s Subway then?’
‘Dude, I don’t want to go all the way to Erina, I just want some food.’ Did I mention I was hungry? Cos I was hungry.
‘We don’t have to go all the way in, there’s a Subway in Gosford now.’ Amanda said.
‘Say what? Since when? Where is it?’
‘Sub-way in Gos-ford. Op-ened last week. Near the leagues club, on the main strip.’ She said, slow for the Hard-Of-Thin-king.
‘C’mon then, let’s go for a ride.’ Said Jase.

So we got up and headed across our minor quad, and as we went through the main quad, we ran into Mr. Snowdon. The Deputy. Head of Discipline. Who looked like Santa Claus, and acted like he’d lost the Naughty List. At least with Amanda heading the charge.

‘Where are you students off to now?’ he said gruffly.
‘Oh sir,’ Amanda gushed, ‘we’ve got a free period and we thought we’d head down to Gosford library for a bit of study.’ No full-blooded man could stand up to a teenage girl in full charm mode, though Mr. Snowdon made a half-hearted attempt.
‘What about the school library?’ he ventured.
‘well sir, we just came from there, it doesn’t really have what we need. In fact we’re looking for something a bit specific. Extension history, you know.’ She slid that word in like she was laying a reversal in Shithead. Bam. And we were out of there.

Part 7 - Working up the Crowd.

2006-04-20T21:07:00.000+10:00

So with that, I knew what I was drinking – a Half of Stolichnaya, mixers Blue Curacao and Lemonade. I still had half Generic Blue from a while back, when we were doing shots of it with lime juice. Pretty intense, but we were running about like pre-schoolers on straight red cordial. Hah, good times. Stoli was the brand of preference, seeing as I earned enough working at Maccas to justify something more expensive than Karloff, but hardly enough to warrant the extravagance of Absolut. Besides, it matched the Lemon Stolis some of the girls drank.

But anyways, we were sitting on the spoils of war while a few of our group were playing Hackey, those who had a bit more coordination than those who were sitting down. ‘So Pete, you comin’ to Nikki’s?’ I said.
‘Huh?’ apparently I’d just snapped him out of the Twilight Zone.
‘Nikki’s. on Friday. Everyone’s invited. Even you. Are you comin’?’ Jase said.
‘Uh, I dunno. Maybe.’
Pete’s ‘situation’ was a strange one, and a warning to the rest of us not to invest too deeply into women. He was ‘good friends’ with Lauren, whatever that meant. I mean, like a lot of us were friends with Amanda, Nikki, even Bec, although all the guys seemed to go red when she was around. But we had no idea what was going on in Pete’s world with Lauren, and we weren’t likely to get much out of him. Unless we got him drunk.
‘Sure you are dude. I’ll drive ya.’ Jase said, as he caught an errant hackey ball, and threw it back to the crew.
‘Yeah man.' I said, then whispered, ‘dude, go anyway, it won’t matter if she’s not there or not.’
I could understand the difficulty he would be going through. We’d all had unfulfilled crushes. To us though, it looked like he was being led on. But hey, what would we know, it’s not like we knew what was going on. Sure me and Jase would have liked to pick up, but Pete, well, he needed to pick up. Break free from the oppressive shackles of friendship.

That’s how we saw it, anyway.

‘She wouldn’t show anyway, not to Nikki’s.’ He said.
‘See, it’s cool dude, nothing to stress about. All exams are over, and there’s three weeks of holidays, plenty of time to do, well, whatever it you do with her. Come on, Friday’ll rock.’ I said.
‘Fine, I’ll go, only cos I know you two’ll keep bitching at me all week if I don’t.’
‘Damn straight, bitch.’ said Jase. By some fluke, a Hackey flew in at this moment, which I slapped away rather than catching it, and it went straight for Pete’s head.
‘God dude, don’t have to get violent on me.’

Then the Bell rang. People started moving, except for me and Jase. ‘later bitches.’ Gotta love free periods. Especially when there were so many of them. The crowds withdrew, and how few remain… Me, Jase, and walking on over from Nikki’s group was Amanda, the only girl from Woy Woy like the rest of us. Only one worth counting, anyway.

Part 6 - A Betting Man.

2006-04-15T01:06:00.000+10:00

The Bell rang, and I dashed out of maths as fast as possible, and given that I was at the back of the class (i.e. closest to the door), I was back down to the quad in time to ;lay the smack down’ on these bloody year nines who thought they could nick our bloody chairs. I can’t emphasise this enough, that we’d earned these rough wooden seats through years of patient waiting. There was no way in hell we were giving them up to a bunch of whipper snappers who thought that getting out of class early would earn them the right to sit in a real chair.

Of course, when HSC exams were being sat, these chairs were still owned by Year Twelves, but for this week, there were none around. Normally we would be playing handball, but these kids kept us at our posts, ever vigilant.

‘So dude, you going to nikki’s or what?’, I asked Jase, already knowing the answer. One has to promote a party in a certain way.
‘dude, hell yeah. You gonna be able to score us some booze?’, Jase replied. He hadn’t been able to work his parents the way I had mine. This beautiful speech six months ago had ensured my dad would buy me the alcohol I needed, and I could never remember the details. Something about sampling flavours, and if they didn’t buy me it, they’d never know what I was drinking.
‘fo sho. Whatcha reckon you’ll be wantin?’ I might emphasise at this point that this was an elite school. We got here on academic merit. Both me and Jase were in 3 unit English, and Jase was in 4u. I’d only dropped out of 4 unit because I was doing 3 unit Modern History. We were both capable of a higher level of communication.

This was just more fun.

‘like, whatever dude. Vodka cool?’ Jase said.
‘pfft. As if you can afford it.’ There were only a few of us with part time jobs, and those jobs were at Maccas. Jase was one of those without.
‘I’m good for it. Anyways, what about the bet?’

Oh yeah, the bet. Neither would ever win it, if anyone else found out about it. One of those appalling ideas one would get from one of those crappy ‘coming of age’ movies spewing out of Hollywood, except none of those movies had come out in recent years. We really had come up with it on our own, though that was nothing to be proud of.

Article 1: neither party shall submit the details of the bet to any third party (I’m out $5 for writing this right now).
Article 2: on an upsliding scale, payments will be made in $5 increments for success with the opposite sex according to the standard Bases, as laid out in the Gosford Conventions of 1997.
Article 3: Each claim shall be verifiable, and desirable.

Ahh, I owe him a party’s worth of drinking, anyways.

Part 5 - Meanwhile, At The Front Of The Class...

2006-04-10T18:04:00.000+10:00

‘Well, is he?’ I asked Hill.
‘God Anna, chill… yeah, he so is.’ She replied.
What does it mean? He wrote that letter, it says he doesn’t like me, but then he’s checking me out, has been for the past month, every time I see him. God, nothing’s going to happen anyway, I really should just concentrate on, uh, quadratic equations.
‘You can’t tell anyone, Hill.’
‘As if I would, it’s boring. Like, really, really boring. Everyone knows what happened, and no-one cares. Except for you two. You shoulda hooked up, broked up and got over it like last term.’ She sounds as tired as she looks, I don’t think she’s been getting enough sleep.
‘But he doesn’t like me… he wrote it.’ I’m not sure, even as I say it.
‘like that matters, you’ve seen the way he looks at you.’ But, just because he’s looking at me, doesn’t mean… what does it mean anyway? Then Mr. Elliot rocks up and interrupts the conversation-

‘How’s it going here girls?’
‘Uh, fine sir, I think we’ve got this now, it’s not that hard. It looks like Katie wants your help though.’ That’s not all she wants by the look of it. One too few buttons done up by any measure of respectability.
‘Okay then, but keep it down girls, and keep working.’
‘sure thing, sir,’ Hill says cheerily. Not a hint of sarcasm showing, I don’t know how she does it.

Really, this is the last thing I need right now. Just one more week of relatively easy class to pull through, and then I’m off to Fraser Island while everyone’s stuck going to all the third rate Olympic events. Like they’re really interested in Handball or Lacrosse. All this stress, if it’s been like this for year 11, the HSC might be too much. Really need to chill out, like Hill said. It’s not like I’m the only one in the world to have a crush though.

‘well, what about Jase then?’ I ask her.
‘what about him?’ she says, all innocent like, as thought she doesn’t check him out every chance she gets. I just stare her down, until she breaks down.
‘god, fine… I don’t even know him, not really anyway. He’s not in any of my classes, I just think he’s cute. Well, hot.’ shocking me again, always blatant.
‘It doesn’t matter anyway,’ she went on, ‘boys are so stupid.’
She’s right, they are though. They still sit together like even being next to a girl would transmit a near-fatal dose of cooties. They still play ball games, handball and cricket mostly. And Hill drags the whole group of us down to the oval so we can check ‘em out when they play. Or so they can check her out, I’ve never been sure about that. And always, he’d be there, eyes on me more than the ball.

I just want this class to be over, so I don’t have to think about it.

Part 4 - Notice Her Notice.

2006-04-05T21:07:00.000+10:00

The game ends as awkwardly as only a gangle of teenage boys knows how, and we’re soon schlepping out and off to various maths rooms, some at far more speed than is deserved. It took me a term to realise I wasn’t cut out for standard two unit, and have since enjoyed the un-challenge of General Maths, the only maths that still has multiple choice questions in the HSC. What Joy. However, in exchange for these hours of mental ease, they must be shared with Brendan.

He’s already in his seat. The good seat. I’ve got the wobbly one. Again. The kind that means I can’t lean back properly even though we’re at the back of the class. I sit down, and the proffered earphone already has the familiar thump of Devil’s Dance by Metallica, a song (and album) already played to the point of saturation. Although, it does drown out the sound of maths. The offer of music does come with a disclaimer – thou shalt not rock out. My ineptitude in the area has been pointed out on countless occasions. From the lack of Rhythm (thump, thump-mp, thump, fuck, um, thump), to the finger twitching by my side which I seem to think indicates the playing of a guitar, I am well aware of the general annoyance that I cause Brendan.

Tap. Tap, tap, tap. Tap ta-

Thunk. His desk shifts and collides with mine, indicating displeasure. The astute reader may have noted that thus far not a word was spake betwixt the two of us, and with good reason. There’s nothing to say. Monday mornings are more accurately viewed as mournings, a moment in time where the passing of the weekend is noted by a respectful few hours silence. Well, that and class isn’t often a time for talking. It might not be a test, but we’re going through past paper questions, and it’s better if we just sit up the back and stay quiet while Mr. Elliot helps those who need it – though I swear Katie Pittman’s got a thing for him. That’s the third time she’s asked him about quadratics. I think. I can’t hear too well with Metallica blasting through one ear.

Besides, if I sit back here and say nothing, maybe Anna won’t notice me. Won’t notice how every time I look up, it happens to be towards her seat in the front. If I listen to this music, I can drown out the thoughts about that night at the school camp, and the stupid, stupid letter I wrote afterwards. I can concentrate on annoying Brendan so he doesn’t notice how much I’m actually checking her out. It’s really quite the lost cause, but everyone’s got their own futile battles being fought.

I just want it to end so I can escape, and escape notice. Not that I could have noticed that she had Hillary watching me watching her the whole time. Something which might have saved me a bit of a shock come lunchtime.

Part 3 - Dealt an Odd Hand

2006-04-04T11:03:00.000+10:00

The Bell woke me up at 8.50, time for roll call. Well, Jase shoved me awake, and we stumbled on over to roll call, where the sane are gathering, people with normal subjects in normal class times. The kind that start after roll call. I’m already reaching around to the small pocket in my backpack to pull out a pack of cards, well worn and marked. There’s 10 minutes in which Shithead can occur, and we’d like to get at least three rounds in.
“C’mon, C’mon, deal. Right, who’s playin’?”, Fat’s well keen, it’s not like there’s anything at stake though.
“in.” “where are my cards?” “deal me.” Tilbury, Jase, and BJ make it in time, however-
‘dude, deal me in.’ Coote tries, no success though.
‘It’s three card this hand. Next one.’ I say, dealing around without him in. what can I do? Three card only works with 5, unless you get two packs and that’s a crappy game anyway. And, when you’ve got someone on the outside, they make the game go faster – loser gets left out, outsider gets put in, just like in handball. We’re old hands at this game now, it’s been a staple of Cold-Wet Days, Too-Hot Days, Lazy Days and The Teacher Didn’t Show Up Days.
Slip, slip, slip. Cards slide out of hands, laid on top of the pile, in silence. A hand picks up a pile, and another lays down an easy card right after. A pile gets burnt, and slid to the side. Smooth game so far – no-one’s slipped up, reversing direction when required, and reversing counting when the card demands it. I’m not Shithead before I know it – then Tilbury, then Jase. The battle of the Shitheads Begins – Fat and BJ. Neither are particularly good players, insofar as the game requires any skill at all. But no-one wants to be Shithead. It’s at this point where skill does become apparent though, selective use of good cards, forcing the other player to pick up your bad ones.
BJ flukes it, and Fat’s left holding half the deck. First Shithead of the day. The game can continue anew – at least, until Erin walks up. Oooh, a girl. Every single boy shifts slightly in his seat.
‘Hey guys, can I play?’, she awkwardly asks the group in general. Hell, someone has to give up a spot, but there’s no way a girl’ll get turned down like Coote was. I don’t think anyone else could’ve caught it, but Jase gives a massive, instant filthy to BJ in the seat next to him, a silent communiqué with the bold headline ‘get out of the fucking seat. Now.’ As BJ’s the only one who would get the hint, he gets up and says to Erin,
‘Sit here, I’m gonna go over and talk to, uh, Ruby’,
now it’s six players, I’m not going to ask anyone to sit out, it’s two card. Still, an interesting development nevertheless. Something to talk about in the break, anyway.

Part 2 - That Gasoline Smell...

2006-04-02T22:47:00.000+10:00

The newly acquired position was situated underneath a classroom, in a dark spot that remained shaded for most of the year, a good thing from our perspective as summer was heading up. Far too many lunchtimes had been sweated out on the handball court, and water fights in the final minutes to cool down as we went to class. Nothing at all to do with the lightness of the girls shirts, or their clingy nature when wet.
The key feature of the locale was the wooden benches, of which a limited amount existed in the quad. They had been well bent by the previous users, slouched to perfection as it were. This early in the morning, being laid back was a natural state. As close to sleep as possible, in the final minutes before class started, and then we could get some proper sleep.
‘Waddap, Bitches.’ Yes, people really did talk like that, a disaffected quote thrown like the schoolbag hitting the bench.
‘Nikki says she’s gonna have a party this Friday night,’ Jase says, dropping onto the bench with a thud. Tilbury’s lying down, and Nick’s bag’s there, though he himself is probably off with Amanda getting in a few more minutes of couple time. BJ’s the closest thing to a morning person in the group, though you couldn’t tell by the bleary look in his eye. The news of the party gathers barely a reaction.
‘Duffman says a lot of things,’ Tilbury mumbles under the book covering his face, ‘She cancelled three weeks ago, remember?’
‘Yeah, but her parents cancelled their trip, and now they’re going this weekend. And we can party Friday.’ You know, I’ll probably be putting more effort into gearing folks up for it later in the day, later in the week, but I’ve been hanging out for something for a while now, and someone’s gotta pay attention.
‘Whatever. Do you know what we’re watching today?’ ah well, Tilbury dismissed it without a spare thought.
‘Apocalypse Now. Again. He couldn’t think of anything relevant that won’t be missed.’ At least Jase is paying attention. It’s only going to be the first 45 minutes, so we won’t even get to the bunnies today. Redux hasn’t come out yet either, so it’s only the tame bunnies. Something to sleep to, I guess.
Well, the Bell rings, somewhat louder than strictly necessary this early in the a.m., (après midi, at least something stuck from French last year), and we trudge towards class, after staying in place for a minute. It’s about making a point – we don’t have to go to class, we choose to. So we get there, right above our spot, really, and Attwood’s about as excited as us to be there. Mumbles something about a meeting, how more kids should be here, puts in the video and skives off. Something to do before roll call anyway. And an opportunity to figure out the exact wording of that phrase – ‘I love the smell of napalm in the morning.’

Part 1 - Monday Morning, My House.

2006-03-26T12:27:00.000+11:00

I’m reading the back of the paper, the breakfast bowl already soaking in the sink, when the horn sounds. Ten minutes late, as per usual. No rush.
‘Dude, hurry up!’ Jase yells. So I keep walking at exactly the same pace.
‘Like it matters, what are we gonna do? Be late for a video?’ At least one of us has some perspective. Well, he does.
‘Look, I gotta be on time, at least once, attwoods’ got the shits with me.’ See, that’s really not something to be concerned about.
‘You know, you’re not going to make it to half of the classes today,’ I mention, stating the obvious really.
‘And whose fault is that?’ to be fair, he’d probably stay in more classes if I did as well. I really don’t need to go to class to get by.
‘Dude, just cos I’m skipping, doesn’t mean you have to.’
So he says, ‘Yeah, but it’s Legal. Fuck it. Aaand, there’s gonna be a sub for Maths. Just get in the car.’
‘Fine. Hey, can we stop for Maccas?’
‘Piss off, we’re late. ‘sides, if you’ve got money for Maccas, you’ve got money for fuel.’
Uhh, whoops. That’ll cost me.
‘Will five bucks do?’ it won’t, but I can get away with it.
‘Yeah, whatever. You’re gonna owe me so many rides.’

Jase pulls out of my driveway with a slight skid, and already the stereo’s too loud to talk. It’s the last week of school, of year 11 really, because next term everything we do will count towards the HSC. We’ve done the last of the exams the previous week, and there’s absolutely nothing keeping us from making the three week break into a month of sloth. Well, habit. And staying at home means housework. Much better to get out at half past seven, and spend the rest of the day arsing about.
Already I’ve dropped two subjects, and picked up two extensions to bring myself back up to ten units – exactly enough. And the extensions get me out this early four mornings a week. The thing about getting in this early, at this time of year, is that we’re the only ones in the school. Year 12 aren’t showing up anymore, and the lower years don’t have any classes at this time. It’s a peaceful time. It’s nice to savour our new spot inherited from year 12, even if we have to drag the chairs back.

Really, Jase’s driving cancels out his lateness, and we’re pulling up with ten minutes to spare. Time enough to wander over to Nikki, and begin nagging again;
‘So, can you have a party?’
‘End of school, start of holidays, you gotta’, that wheedling that we’ve become so skilled at.
Much to our surprise, it works. Well, it seems to anyway. She probably wants a party as much as we do.
‘Friday okay? Now piss off and tell the others.’ So ladylike. But we are pretty annoying when we want to be.