Part 14 - The Situation

Naturally enough, a free period combined with a long recess becomes a second, early lunch. the business leaders of the day had given us the exemplary idea of the extended business lunch. kids our age don't leave the lunch, not because we're pissed, but because we're apathetic. there's no wine, but we could still eat and make the pretence of some degree of study. Not that much was needed. It’s the last week of the term after all, and we have precious little to study for. Amanda was one of the few others that had signed up for three unit history, and our efforts had been directed towards the Kennedy myth, that whole Camelot thing.

‘You see Jase, the assassination needs to be put into context. It was such a shock to the nation, to the world, really, that the positive aspects of his presidency became the enduring story, because no one was willing to ‘hurt the memory’ of his life, as it were. It’s really quite interesting.’

What’s really interesting is how passionate Amanda’s getting about it. I’m struggling fill in my share of the conversation. I suck hard on the straw, and gather the last errant drops of sprite, chasing them between the remaining ice in the cup.

‘mmm. the problem being though, that he was actually a pretty good president all things considered. And he won against Nixon, who was a damn sight worse when he ended up in office. So criticisms of his presidency aren’t that strong to begin with, and then those criticisms have to compete with the enduring narrative of the last good president.’

Jase looked thoughtful for a moment. ‘And I should care about this why?’

‘well, everyone lives in a narrative, not just dead presidents. Reality is too difficult to comprehend without them. We structure our understanding of events through stories. Kennedy’s death, as shocking as it was, had a previous story to shape people’s understanding of it, the assassination of Lincoln. A good president, a great president, shot down in his prime.'

‘you still haven’t told me what this has to do with me.’

‘hmm. Well, you exist in a narrative now. You obviously like a girl, and you won’t tell us who she is. So you’re a tragic romantic, the boy with a crush who doesn’t act on it, and loses out to the confident, though unknown, other. No happy ending.’ Swish. forced debating has given me great skills.

‘But you can change the story, Jase. It’s not fixed yet. Tell us who you like, and we can help you get what you want, give you that happy ending.’ And Amanda brings the game home. one really doesn't have a chance against two dedicated players.

It is a hard thing to confess. Perhaps you do like a girl, perhaps you don’t. You can pretend you don’t, and when she inevitably picks a boy that actually talked to her, you can pretend it doesn’t hurt in the slightest. Admitting you like a girl to someone else means admitting it to yourself as well, and all the potential suffering that entails. Potential for great joy, sure. But for those who love quietly, and from afar, love is a great risk.

‘dammit. I’m not getting back to school until I tell you, am i?’

‘not a chance. Not that you want to go back, though’

‘true.’

‘but still, you should tell us. Not just cos we want to know, but cos we want to help.’

‘fine. It’s. well. Erin.’

‘who?’

‘god keegan, you spend half a fucking hour getting information out of me and you don’t have the slightest clue what it means.’